Door is locked

Corn tortilla with over easy eggs and tomatoes!

So good, when you bite into it all the yolky goodness comes oozing out!

Thanks honey! I just got home and I'm organizing my thoughts by writing them down so I can figure out how to get everything ready! My Dad is coming down tomorrow to help me move and get lunch! He'll leave around 2pm so he can get back at a decent hour!

So I guess I can't come to the naked pool party! I need to get everything moved out!

He will get here around 10:30 and leave probably around 2:30

So you probably won't get a chance to meet him this time

Hey love!

I was trying to call to catch up with you!

Okay, I prefer a call when you're free. I'd like to hear your voice. ��

Aww!!

Did you like the picture?

You like my bed?

I now have the interwebs!

My Dad should be here soon!

My old place or new place depending where we are! Text me when you're close and I'll tell you which one

Actually go to old place!

I might! It could be awkward though because I've already texted her and she told me she's in Seattle and we can hang out next weekend when she gets back!

Just got done filling my car again and bringing everything up to my apartment. I am so pooped. My plan is shower, unpack dishes and make food!

I have all my food, dishes, silverware, and clean towels at my new apartment!

Yes, in my nice clean bed!

I love taking a shower, feeling fresh, and sleeping in clean sheets!

I tried to call you back and you didn't answer!

When you get here hit 206 and push call. I will buzz you in!

Hey love! If you're free and would like to help me I could use the help!

There's one thing I don't think I'm strong enough to carry. I moved everything, but not sure I can carry my area rug

I am pretty much done!
Molly and I are in my new apartment. I moved a lot of shit into the hallway to be picked up by St Vincent. There are a few items left at my apartment like a vacuum and broom so I can do some cleaning, but other than that it's pretty much empty. The only big thing left in my apartment is the area rug because I couldn't pick it up to move it. I'm gonna ask the movers to get it from my apartment tomorrow!

You are so sweet! I love you and enjoyed spending time with you last night!

I'm still moving today! Had to miss class because I have to be out of there by 4:30pm and I have a lot of work to do! Almost done now though! Everything is out of the old apartment! I just have to eat lunch, then go back there to sweep the floors and then I'm out for good!!

No rest for the wicked! ����

Still moving! Sorry honey! Trying to clean as best I can so hopefully I'll get my deposit back!

Just turned in my old keys!

What a relief!

I'm still exhausted and have lots of work to do, but at least I'm done with that!

Forgot my Bonsai!

I'm in my new apartment now and have no plans to leave it for the rest of the day!! So tired!

Plan is to make dinner and then watch the lecture that I missed online!

Would you happen to have an electric drill and stud finder that I could borrow?

Hey love!! I wanted to call and talk to you before I went to bed! I hope you had a great day today! Call me if you get this soon, but if not I will talk to you tomorrow! ����

I'm having trouble sleeping. I keep thinking Molly is going to pee on the floor. Then I'm thinking about what I'm gonna make with the food I have. I'm wondering if I'm hungry now. I'm thinking about my plans for the mentor program. Why am I still up? Why isn't Nick here? This is not right.

Thanks honey, I'm gonna pig out and see if that helps. My phone was silent so I didn't hear the call back. I want you to sleep well tonight, otherwise I'd love for you to come over!

Thanks honey! I soaked some beans so I can make chili tomorrow! Cooking some artichokes and hopefully I'll fall asleep after those!

Good morning sunshine!

Molly used her litter box for the first time last night! I'm so proud of her!

Thinking of you! Hope you're having a great day so far!

Me as well! I get out of class at 7:20pm, however we may get out early since it's the first day!

Okay! What time is that?

Okay! My place or your place?

Okay honey! Yes I can do that! I will have to be at my place from 8am-11am for TV mount installation. I can take you to the airport around 12:30pm if you prefer? Let me know what time you like!

We can still sleep at your place, I'll just have to leave early to be to my place for installation. You can come with me to my place and we can hangout. Then I'll take you to the airport! Or you can stay at your place and I'll come back to get you and take you there!

Sorry it's complicated! I've been so distracted with moving and classes starting that I forgot you're leaving me tomorrow!

But it will be alright! Either way we'll have tonight together and I'll get to drop you off for your flight!

I made chili!

Me too!! ����

When do you get back on Sat?

Okay! I think I will be out of class soon!

We're wrapping up. It takes me about 20 minutes to walk home after!

Home!

Did you want me to meet you at your place?

I can come whenever! I was just making some tea! My thermoses are dirty, so I can't bring it

Also, I need to eat dinner unless you want to feed me!

Okay! How should we do that? Do you want to cook together?

Omw

Molly's bday was last Sunday! She's 5 years old now!

Also thanks for listening to me this morning. I definitely am not trying to make it about me and I want you to continue to openly talk to me about any part of our relationship

I have some sensitivities due to my life experience and I wanted to share it with you. I don't want that to detract from focus on your feelings.

I love you too!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross

If you watched public broadcasting as a kid you would have seen him!

He just told me his ETA is 10:20am

He's here working on it right now! I think he should be done by 11:30am if not sooner!

Have you heard of kodi?

It's a free streaming device that's open source. You can get shows from Netflix, Hulu, and new movies!

I'm gonna add it to my firestick!

He's almost done, just putting the wires in a cover now!

Took a bit longer! He's gone now, I'm heading over!

I'm bringing over my lunch!

Okay!

I'm here!

Okay! What time did you want to leave for the airport?

Okay, that would get you there 1 hour and 25 minutes before your flight

Okay. Google says it's a 21min drive, so to be safe, you'd probably want to leave around 1pm.

I hope you make your flight. We have a lot to talk about

Last night you told me something that made me let go of your hand. You said, "Maybe you just don't have the capacity in your brain to think, 'How would this affect Nick?' Maybe that part of your brain just isn't there."

Those were your words. I remember them because after that I let go of your hand

If you remember I had been holding your hand to be supportive as you told me your feelings

It was extremely insulting to say the least and in light of recent developments, really hypocritical.
I agree we need to communicate more. The problem was that you did not respect me. If one person in a relationship decided to see other people without telling the other person, while knowing that person would be upset by it, it's very disrespectful. And just wrong. To add insult to injury, you decided to do this without telling me while I was going through a really tough time. It hurts to think you had decided to see other people and not tell me, but send me texts saying that you loved me and support me. It feels like everything was a lie. Text me your support while not respecting me enough to tell me you're seeing other people in St Louis while I'm having an abortion by myself in Florida. Thanks a lot. I wonder if you would have had the guts to tell me that if you actually came to see me. You didn't once think about how it should affect me that you're seeing other people and that you chose to hide it from me.

Really you must have such superior empathy than mine to ahead and decide to see other people without telling your girlfriend while she's in another state having an abortion. Great. Maybe my poor undeveloped brain will be able to learn from yours.

It was really considerate of you to do that and I see how it was in my best interest to be lied to and excluded from the decision process.

I don't appreciate your attempt to silence me and gaslight me.

I think you did a really shitty thing and you should own up to it rather than make excuses for yourself

When I was really vulnerable and by myself, you decided it was a great idea to see other people and not tell me about it. I don't know how you can point to me and tell me I lack empathy when you choose to do something you know would upset me normally and decide that you'll choose the right time to let me know what's going on. Complete disregard for what I would want or how I would feel.

All this while feigning support from St Louis. Pretending like you're there for me while you were lying to me.

Would you have had the guts to tell me if you did come? I wonder if you could look me in my eyes tell me you love me and support me, and then tell me you are going to start dating other people.
You from StL: "I'm here for you babe. I'll be here again after my date that I've chosen to go on without you knowing she choosing not to tell you about."

Thanks a lot for that support. It means so much to me to know that while I was struggling you decided it was time to see other people and not tell me

You had told me you weren't seeing anyone else and that you were only looking for friends!!!

So yes, you would have to tell me if that changed, if you had any respect for me at all. And you even admitted you thought it was worthy of telling me even though "we weren't monogamous".

It is so insulting to me that you would even use "we weren't monogamous" as an excuse to lie to me

Yes you did. You purposely withheld information from me

Information you knew was significant to me

And you did it because it was inconvenient for you. You wanted to date right away and didn't want to wait to talk to me first

You didn't have enough respect for me to do that

No, I'm repeating what you told me. You purposely withheld information from me. And it was information that you knew was significant to me. That's a lie.
You can have your reasons for it.

Justify lying to me however you want.

Okay, well it's up to you to tell me if that's the case or not. But you did lie to me and I need you to acknowledge that that's what you did.

Regardless of intent, it was a lie.

How can I make it more clear?
You PURPOSELY withheld information from me. Information that you KNEW was significant to me.

That is a standard definition of a lie.

It's called lying by omission.

It's not that you gave to tell me all things. It's that you purposely chose not to tell me something that was significant to me. And you knew it was significant to me.

It's hard for me to believe that you don't understand that concept. But I want to believe it, because if you do understand the concept it means that right now you're doing something even worse.

I hope you have a safe flight.
It's hard for me to believe that when you were lying to me at the same time. To understand whether or not you lied answer these two questions: 1.) Did I purposely withhold information from Adriane? 2.) Did I know that that information was significant to Adriane? If you answer yes to those two questions, you can understand that you lied.

You had prior knowledge that I do not like you seeing other people.
You decided to start seeing other people and to not tell me about it, knowing that it would upset me. The last we spoke of it you were not seeing other people. How can you not see that that is a lie. It's not even a small lie. It's not gray area. It's big and easy to spot. If you take it out of context and pretend you don't know me, that we aren't close. Pretend you didn't think it would bother me or that it didn't matter you could probably convince your friends that it was not a lie. However that would be deceitful too.

You betrayed my trust that you would be honest with me. And it's not just "that's how I feel". It's that that's what you did.

And it's not that I want to persecute you. I'd like to get past it, but I can't do that if you can't even acknowledge what you did and that you lied to me.

What's more upsetting is that you asked me to get checked for STDs and alluded to wanting to protect other people. Like that's how I found out. Because you were worried about people you may want to sleep with.

It's so messed up. I can't believe that you would do all of this.

And to your previous comment about "not having an obligation" to tell me. That's complete bullshit. I have every right to know as your intimate partner, your girlfriend, somebody you say you love, who else you're seeing and if you are sleeping with other people or have plans to. I hate that you're looking for other people for the future. Like as if I'm a "just for now" person.

The level of disrespect is really incredible.

I can't believe you have the nerve to argue with me on any of this.

While you were off looking for someone to date next, I was planning a future with us together. Roger had asked me if I planned to come back to to Florida for my fourth year and I told him no. I wanted to stay in St Louis to continue to grow things with you. Meanwhile, without even having the deceny to tell me, you start dating other people.

Okay, but it's important to me that you recognize and acknowledge that you lied to me. You were keeping it from me because you didn't tell me about it and you did it. Planning to tell me about something and actually telling me about it are two different things.

You lied and cheated on me as far as I'm concerned

I honestly feel like you don't even want to be with me. I mean you already decided to see other people without even consulting me. Last night you kept using the phrase "not a match". I'm not a noob, I know what that means.

Okay. It hurts to know that when I was going through shit and texting you that I wish you were there, you were making plans to go out on dates.

Sure, you'd visit and then let me know that you're going to start seeing other people.

Okay. Have a safe flight

I'm very upset. Regardless of whether or not you believe you lied to me, you still made a choice to see other people without even consulting me. And for the record, I am not okay with it, in case I haven't made it explicitly clear already. I thought we were building something. I didn't realize that you had given up and started looking elsewhere for your future partners

I also wish you did admit that you lied. It bothers me that you don't understand it. "I was going to tell you later on" is not a substitute for actually telling me before you do something like that.

You were texting me while I was in Florida that you felt really close to me. At the same time you were seeing other people without even telling me.

It's bullshit. You did lie and you did cheat on me. You can keep telling me condescendingly that "I understand you feel that way", but what I want is for you to understand it and to admit it. While your sympathy for my pain is okay, what's more important is that you acknowledge what you actually did rather than deny it.

I'm really sad that this happened.

I found ladylike on Kodi. I would like to show it to you, but I am really sad. I wish this didn't happen. I wish you either kept me in the dark or just didn't do that.

If it wasn't important enough to consult me on it first, maybe it wasn't important enough for me to know. Apparently we are not that close. According to you, you had "no obligations" to me.

It's not like we are intimately involved. It's not like we've ever talked about a future together. It's not like I mean a lot to you, so why would you consult me? After all we never agreed to be monogamous. I should have assumed that you would not tell me and decide to date other people while I was in Florida. You are a free agent with no obligations to anybody, especially not me.

"girlfriend" is just a title and doesn't mean anything to you. To you there's no difference between friendships and relationships.

I'm quoting you. You told me those things.

They're your words, not mine.

I can say what I want.

I'm letting you know that I understand it

I understand the parts you don't want me to know

That is not what I said. I said that I understand the situation.

And I want you to know that I know what's going on

And you're the one who doesn't get it

I hate that you lied to me. You broke my trust.

Now I'm supposed to believe you that your actions were motivated by wanting to make our relationship better. That you honestly thought that you deciding to see other people without telling me would make me happy and bring us closer together. That you were not in self-interest.

*acting in

It was in interest of us and our relationship that you decided to start dating without letting me know. You did it because you care for me and us and thought it was the best thing for us.

It definitely was not about your own personal interest and no one else's.

Now that you're dating you can tell me about them. Since you planned to tell me anyway, go ahead. It's what you independently planned for us. Tell me about your dates. Anybody you really like? Maybe a new best friend? I bet they're all lovely people.

Great thanks

I can't wait to hear everything

I'm really happy for you and your dates

I'm sure you had a great time together and maybe one will be your future partner.

You could let them know, "I started dating you while my girlfriend was it of town without letting her know."

On a dating site

Oh, so I'm not your girlfriend? Good to know

I feel like I'm wasting my time. You're just going to keep denying that you lied and try to have me believe you decided to do something that would hurt me without telling me to benefit our relationship. It's really absurd.

I have to study for a quiz tomorrow.

If you could just own up to what you did, it would really make things easier.

I do not feel that I can trust you. I love you, but you really hurt me. It hurts more that you don't understand it. I hate that I have to explain how you lied to me and you still don't get it.

Your responses hurt worse. Telling me that you don't have any obligations to me. Telling me we weren't monogamous anyway. As if it doesn't matter that you didn't bother to tell me until after the fact. As if I don't mean anything to you.

You really disrespected me. And I cannot accept that it was not in self interest. There's no way it benefits me or us. If it benefited someone, it was only you.

Well let me be clear. You have an obligation to me to tell me if you plan to date other people or sleep with other people. You should already know that. That's something that polyamorous people do too.

And also, I'm not okay with it. I'm not okay with being with you while you're dating other people.

That's my rule set. So now you know, if I didn't tell you before.

I don't like that you put your OKC profile on your facebook. I don't like that you flirt with everyone. I don't like that you use a dating site to find friends.

Well I've changed.

So I'm letting you know my change.

I don't like when you meet my friends you talk to them about dating other women.

I don't like that you told the women you went out with that you're open to seeing them in the future.

I don't like that you kept the fact that you were dating other people from me for over a month.

I don't like that you disrespect me

I don't like that you can't admit you lied

You do not even want to understand. You might not even be capable of it.
You're okay with having a kid with me. You're okay with talking about a family. But you don't want exclusivity. That's fine. It's your choice.

And you broke a commitment of being fucking honest with me. Really, like why would I have to spell that out for you for you to know to do that?

Gee, Adriane is under the assumption that I'm not seeing anyone else or looking to date because that's what I told her. I wonder if I should let her know that I'm deciding to date again. I wonder if I should ask her how she feels before I make that decision. Nah, she's in FL having an abortion, so I'll cope by dating other women and I'll let her know in a month or two.

You decided to see other people without telling me, and you knew it would upset me.
Then you tell me that you don't want to be exclusive with me, even though that's what we were doing until you decided to see other people without consulting me. That is a huge breach of trust. How does this show I'm important to you? I'm sure you've shown in some other ways. But this really hurts. You broke my trust and then told me things that made me feel I don't matter at all to you.

It upsets me that you won't acknowledge it. You only say "sorry you're hurt". You won't acknowledge that you lied to me.

I want to know that you understand it