It's really good

I want to lend it to you

After I finish

On my way home!

It's been hard for me, but I haven't checked facebook since 12:30 which was when my 30 min window ran out

I'm getting sick

What honey?

Yeah, I'm watching boondocks right now and then going to bed so I can get enough sleep! Hopefully I'll feel more alive tomorrow. Being a zombie is no fun!!

Goodnight! ����

Hey Krutie! There's a march today in Brentwood!

The one today starts at 1:30pm

I kind of want to go, but also have a lot of work to do! I could do work and take a break to protest though!

I'm definitely sick

Woke up to tons of yellow snot

I knew it would happen though. I have been feeling like complete shit the past few days

Krutie do you have facebook?

This is funny, I'm talking to both you and Krutie in separate and group chats

I'll hook her up!

Yes

I had a crazy dream last night

I'm just getting up because I really needed the rest

I slept a lot

I needed it for sure!

Also, I don't work this week, which is nice.

Okay. I'll text you when I'm coming to the protest!

Why?

I thought you said it was a chill protest

Hmm

Okay I'll let you know. Not sure what I'll do

I think we can think of it like this, by this coming May if we think we are ready to get engaged, I can move in with you. If not I will just renew my lease and we can keep dating like that! This way I'm only moving in if we are both very confident in our future together.

It's 6 months from now, so you never know how we'll feel at that time!

That's what I'm thinking, but of course we should discuss it and I want to know what you think

Yes!!! That's like what I offered you the other day!! ����

So cute! I love it!

I cancelled my hair appointment that I had on Tuesday at lemon spalon and made an appointment at a place called Cultivate that I believe is owned by a black woman and has black stylists!

I didn't ask if it was okay that I have white/middle eastern hair. I wanted to ask, but it didn't come up and I was shy. It's a natural hair salon, so I'm not sure. But they want me to come in for a consultation first so they can check the health of my hair, so I guess they will let me know then!

I know we don't want to text too much, but I just wanted to say this. I'm annoyed when people don't get it. I told Diana about putting my money into black and brown businesses and her first response was worry that I'm "becoming like them". Like that could possibly make me racist. Ugh. That is so annoying to me that she doesn't see that as a great thing to do to fight racism

Thanks. Her argument would only make sense to me if there wasn't a great power imbalance and great suffering from it. But there is. So I almost feel she's invalidating the struggle that black and brown people face. But I know she doesn't mean to and that she's also affected by it.

I like it!!!!

There doesn't have to be a comparison. I'm sure both are good!

I'm happy you guys are out there and kind of wish I was with you, but I'm home resting up!

Okay

If we have a girl, I want to name her Michelle

Good just studying therapeutics!

How are you?

Want to see me?????

Okay! You want to come here?

Are you coming?

Okay, you don't have to

If you don't want to

Just letting you know

You can take your time

And we can meet tomorrow if you prefer

That's fine. Take your time and if you don't want to come it's okay!

Don't feel pressured

I feel like I don't have a single real friend

I don't. I don't have anybody who understands me and wants to be my friend

Everybody thinks I'm crazy

Want to meet me here?
5755 Chippewa St

If you do, wear comfortable clothes

It's an option

Let me know

We would need to leave soon

I think I would enjoy it

Hey baby

I'm dressed a little scandalous

Do you think it will bother anybody?

����

I got it out! Now there's just a big empty hole! lol

Goodnight love!!

Oh no! I hope you're not getting sick!

Haven't heard from Barnes yet

True! Thank you baby! I love you too!

I wants to marriage you

PS my quiz went well and I got a really good grade on my practicum

What's wrong??

Ohhh

You might have caught my cold!

True. Probably not the person who was sick and had their tongue in your mouth!

I haven't heard from Barnes yet

But I asked my friends and nobody else has either so maybe they haven't sent anything yet

Probably!!

What are you doing???

Do you need a kick it the pants?

I happen to know a great pants kicker!

Hope your day is going well!

Is everything okay? You seemed to have left a little abruptly this morning. I think it's because you're sick she trying to be productive, but I just wanted to check. It's just been a sudden change from how we used to interact and now we are trying not to text, but it does make me feel a little uneasy

I'm not used to it

Okay

It's me then

I feel anxious today

I will take care of myself better

Okay, I have to study anyway. Sending you love too and I will see you tonight I hope

I need to shut my head off. I have been thinking too much and I feel like I'm losing it. I am getting more woke and I have to figure out how to handle it. It'd be easier to stay asleep and medicate my depression. I feel like becoming more aware is helping my depression because I feel more alive and engaged, but I also just don't know what to do with things. I really want to mellow out

Getting high sounds great

I don't think I got into the program. Farrah got an email today and I didn't get one

It's okay though

I think it was probably for the best. I will do my rotations at other places and I think that will help me get a job at those places when I graduate!

Yeah! I am definitely disappointed, but I'm trying to be positive about it

I'm at home

What are you up to?

Okay

I feel like a loser

But I'll come be a loser over there

I got both of you texts!

Do you have food?

I accidentally left raw beef out all day

Do you think it's still safe to cook and eat it?

It was in a bar

Bag*

I'm worried that you're only with me because you're physically attracted to me and like having sex with me.

I feel like that is all I'm offering you

I also still feeling like I wish I wasn't here. I wouldn't do anything, but I would like to go

Okay

Thanks, I wish I was

I want to get high and go to the park

That would be a good birthday

Oh okay

I didn't know that

Took some pain medicine

Not the magic stuff, but regular acetaminophen

It will probably help calm my mood if I'm in less pain

Really?

What did you say?

Who do they want to talk to?

That guy Elika was dating was seeing someone else and wanted to keep her as a backup

That guy Elika was dating was seeing someone else and wanted to keep her as a backup

So basically he started seeing someone else, got distant, and then lied when she asked why

Yeah

Men are gross

I feel bad for Elika

I will be done in about 30 minutes

I'm free now!

My hair is so damaged. It's like really bad. It upsets me because to grow a new head of hair to this length would take a minimum of 3 years. I don't want to chop it all off; it took me years and a lot of care to get it to this length. I need to figure out what I can do to save it. It sucks to pay someone $100 to ruin years of your work.

Thanks

Awww

That's so cute!!

I found out that Roger sent me a different card, so that's why he didn't sign it!

Hey baby, if you are still coming to Florida, you will probably want to get your ticket soon so it will be less expensive!

Also we need to figure out the hotel

If you can afford it, I'd be nice if you can get it for us. But I'm not sure, probably about $200-$300

I just checked and there are no rooms available at the place my family is staying

The place my parents are staying averages $500 per night

We could stay with them if we wanted. We just wouldn't have our own room. We'd be on the pull out couch in the living room

But it would save $1500.

Looks like this place would be our best deal if we don't want to stay with my parents:

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g34420-d231936-Reviews-Marco_Beach_Ocean_Resort-Marco_Island_Florida.html

It's also only 3 minutes away from them

Okay I would do that one because it's closer to them

And I'd book it now because there's only 1 room left

Unless we want to stay with my parents on the pull out couch!

If we go by your estimate of a <50% chance of staying together, it makes more sense to do most of my rotations in Florida so that I have more job opportunities when I graduate. In which case, it doesn't really make sense to continue my lease. So I'll have to figure it out. It doesn't really make sense for me to be going back and forth from St Louis and Orlando. Not sure what I will do with Molly either.

She will have to come to Florida with me and then I won't be there to take care of her when I'm in St Louis so my parents will have to do it

I feel confident that I know enough about you that I would be happy to make a real commitment with you if we had a some real deep discussions on what that would entail. However I heard you when you told me you just don't know enough yet and I think it's wise not to make commitments hastily. So I'm not really sure where this will leave us. Unfortunately I have only two weeks to decide what I will be doing (and where) for 12 months starting in May.

Before when I was planning to do all of my rotations in St Louis, it was because I put full faith in us. You have told me, out of love, that you don't think that's wise for me to do. If you tell me I should go, it doesn't make sense for me to argue with you. But I think we should discuss it since it affects us. It is definitely a big deal to me.

I found a good yoga studio that if affordable

We can keep dating even if we decide that I should do my rotations in Florida. It's just that I think it will be different, since we know that it's limited and that I will be leaving soon and we will be breaking up. It will make me pretty sad.

You won't want to date me long distance and I don't really think that's a great idea either

The main reason you told me you don't think I should stay in St Louis is because you don't think we'll last and you don't want to make a commitment you can't keep. I respect that. I also will say that there are people who know each other less than we do, who make big commitments and they live happily together through constantly working on their love. It is a choice. That's what I believe. I'm not saying that it's the right choice for us, but it is another relevant perspective.

If I go back to Florida, we might always ask ourselves "what if". Or maybe we won't. Maybe we'll just value that time, but also realize it wasn't meant to be in the long run and be happy we chose to part ways.

This is why I want to have the discussion with you

It's complicated and since you're very important to me and I think I'm important to you too we need to figure it out together

Reading what?

Oh okay

That's smart

Whatever happens we will still love each other

I'm still going to be sad if we decide there is a definite and fast approaching end to our relationship. But I will feel some comfort knowing we made the choice together and that we did it out of love for each other and ourselves.

It's hard for me to focus right now

I can intellectually say and understand that everything will be okay, but emotionally it's hard

Okay. I don't think Diana is coming. She's saying the flights are all sold out

It makes sense because thanksgiving is coming

I think I will be sad because there will never be another Nick. You're really special.

Yep. Dating will be hard. You set the bar really high. I don't think any cis man will reach it

I'll have to switch to women. But that will be really hard with my family and me. My family is pretty homophobic. My mom would be pretty upset

Hmm, you're very upbeat for this impending doom!! ��

If you have venmo, I can pay you that way sometimes, since I never have cash and sometimes forget my wallet

I am sad

My mom told me, if it's meant to be it will be. That if I go to Florida you and I can keep in touch and if we are drawn back together, we can do that

Where are you???

Thanks baby!!

Thanks baby!!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4eWtrj1FOLQ

Thanks baby. I'm glad too

I left my body butter at your place!

����

I love you

I'm really sad and emotional today

I hope that you can love me the way that I am

I'm sure I will like it!