Can you come over

I'm so nervous I'm burping! Delaying this exam twice has increased its psychological burden

I have an update

These professors are so crazy

Yancey is losing her shit

They're so afraid of me getting them in trouble

They messed up this other guy's schedule and lied to him about the reason why in an email just so that I couldn't tell anyone that they offered him an option that they didn't offer me

But the reason they gave him was a complete lie and there's proof

It was Yancey who lied!

Poor her!!

They all suck, she's just the dumbest of them

Finished!

Thanks! I went and looked at my notes and I made a bunch of mistakes

Shooting today at OSU

My fam is all safe. I think 9 people were shot

A lot of my fam graduated there, including my mom

Can you pick me up at 3:30?

Okay that's fine!

I just didn't want to walk in the rain

Oh okay!

Do you want to make dinner and I'll come over?

I was trying to get an uber and J they kept running off

I'm walking home in the rain

This how I feel

I'm gonna take a nap! Call me if you want to eat!

Love you!

I'm looking forward to quality time with you tomorrow!

http://wellnessmama.com/62144/give-experiences/

My law class teaches obedience and compliance. This is so crazy and then they want to create pharmacists who advocate for their profession using the legal system when all we're taught is to be afraid and listen to the government

It should say, "Laws tell us what rich white men want everyone else to do"

"They're dumb and should be challenged consistently"

They use the fear of losing your license as a pharmacist to get pharmacists to be primarily concerned with following the rules

There is a stereotype of a mild mannered pharmacist that exists. obviously it's not everyone, but there's truth in it. Pharmacy used to be mostly men and mostly in community settings. Now it's mostly women in classes and there's a higher emphasis on clinical practice, but I think the typical personality is still the same.

I don't think there's something wrong with that personality. But it makes it harder to get pharmacists engaged in something aggressive.

Since we live in an aggressive nation with normalized violence, pharmacists have to overcome their aversion to conflict in order to create change in the field, often fighting the AMA who are happily aggressive.

Roger's mom is dying (they think)

They have thought she was dying before and she came back, so I'm not sure

Today is Mary's bday

We should do something nice for her

We can make edibles and share them with everybody

Idk it will take a while!

I have a travel partner! Lan and I might go to South Africa!

I feel like as an Asian person you can travel the world and nobody cares too much. But as a Middle Eastern person I have to be aware of how people see me

I get the hate from white people, black people, and Asians. The only people who don't hate too much are Hispanics

I'm free!

Want to pick me up?

Well I need to stop at my place for pain medicine

I got my period

I don't want to walk home in the dark, if you could pick me up

If not I can walk, I just prefer not

Thank you!!

I'm ready!

Okay I'll come out!

Yeah, they could not do Middle Eastern people even though they make more money, middle eastern people need to be villainized so we can keep their countries

*Attacking their countries

I think Iranians are one of the wealthiest minorities in the states. Iran has a lot of brain drain. Almost everybody who could leave has gone and contributed to other countries

The education is Iran is really great

Especially for engineering/architrcture

Honestly, the only reason I'm treated better in Florida is because I can pass for Hispanic there

A lot of people thought I was Dominican

But I think Florida is actually better I'm general for brown people

There are also a ton of afro-latinx

Usually they identify as Hispanic

Or identify as being Dominican

Rarely they choose to identify as black because it's a different culture and they speak Spanish

But they're still treated with a lot of racism compared to "white" Hispanics

Also probably don't identify as black for psychological benefit

I found out that my issue with taking the exam has caused "talks" to occur on my specific accommodation of being able to miss class

The person in charge of DSP told me this

She said it wasn't specifically about me, but that my situation sparked the talks

Basically me existing on campus and standing up for my rights is causing a shitstorm

They're used to students submitting

The school was designed to break us

That's my lover and my friend and I'm moving in with them! ��

It's okay! Just chatting with Mena!!

Who said, "I love you" first?

Me neither!

Mena just told her boyfriend she loves him and they been dating 3 months

I feel like I probably told you first

I don't usually hold back

They been dating 4 months actually

Why do you think it wasn't you?

Lol

When did I say it?

Mena so funny she's like, "We bout to have a Irani-Iraqi conflict in here!"

Did I freak you out?

I think you probably said it right back

Or you asked me what I meant

It had to be fast because I think we were saying that before the camping trip!

What you up to?

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If it's ready by tomorrow, we will get to spend every night and morning together

Starting Thursday night

If not it's okay. I know we're both busy

I just wouldn't mind waking up with you

I want to call you

But I know you're being productive

We have a fun night scheduled for Saturday night. We could switch it to tomorrow night and make Saturday night a move in day!

True! Whichever babe! I kind of would like to move in soon though

Glad you are feeling better!!

Hey love

How are you?

You will get there. Slowly, but surely!!

I'm doing well.

Yoga class is $15 for one class or $30floor unlimited for a month if you think you'll want to go again

Yeah, I got some sleep

I'm feeling better because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel

Me too. I'm also glad for you because you're almost there

And don't worry, even if you still have work when I'm done, it will be okay

I can be flexible and see you when you have time

I hate when people try to interrupt me and I keep talking because I'm not standing for constantly being pushed over and then they act like I'm rude, when they're the person who interrupted

How dare I continue what I was saying

Anyway, i'm done for the day! Not going to therapeutics!

I'm gonna go home, clean, and then maybe do some yoga before we go together, or maybe go to the gym

I'm kissing this sad semester goodbye

Psilocybin can help with depression/anxiety

There was a recent Johns Hopkins study

I didn't read it though

I just saw this

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/12/the-life-changing-magic-of-mushrooms/509246/?utm_source=atlfb

Bring a yoga mat if you have one!

Might borrow from Laura

Or they might let you use at the studio for free, but prolly have to rent it

ETA 6:35

I want the babies!!

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I don't actually have control over the sex of the babies. So even though in my family it's all girls, I can't guarantee we have a girl. It's you that decides whether it's a male or female baby!!

Looking like I'm probably not going to be able to do many rotations in Florida

There are hardly any available

And I missed the deadline to create new rotations

Because I wasn't thinking I was going to go back there, so I didn't bother

I'm sad.

I'm worried you don't really want me here and I didn't make new rotations because I thought we were good.

Sorry babe, I hope you feel better. My intention is not to manipulate. I am just afraid and telling you my fear, but I understand how you could read it that way.

If you want to leave me you are always welcome to

I am not trying to guilt or coerce you into being with me and I never want to do that

I am upset with myself because I got myself into a shitty situation. I'm also a little upset that I feel you weren't as "all in" as I was because I was in it without even thinking about leaving until you brought up that I should consider it. But again, I'm mostly just upset with myself because I made a crappy situation. I love you too. Have fun at your panel!

It's not a big deal. Whatever happens it will be okay. I can be happy and successful anywhere in any circumstance because I'm very privileged. I may still do them all in Florida. Who knows. And if I do them here, maybe that's good too

I might even do something with the CDC

So it's okay. I just freaked out for a second, but it really doesn't matter. I'll also be overseas at some point most likely

Thanks baby!!

Some old guy said to Aaron today, "I'm glad you're working so you won't be on the streets!"

Aaron said, "I wasn't raised in the streets!"

Good thing you didn't buy the ticket for Marco Island because we may not go since Roger's mom is likely dying

I really wish I could help you feel better.

Let me know if you want/need something

I would like to make brownies today. I think the last time I had pot, it helped with my ulcerative proctitis.

Since you're not feeling well, it might help you too.

I also really want to do the ayawasca to help with my depression!

Come hang out with me at Cafe Ventana if you want to do work together!

How you feel?

Caffeine?

Kisses??

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Do you need them delivered? Also do you want one or both of those?

If in the future you could acknowledge my offer of love before letting me know that you don't want it, it would really make me feel better. I know it's about you, not me and I want to be supportive of you. Also, I feel the need to have my efforts to show you love acknowledged. It might not be right, but it is how I feel.

Thanks babe. It is something I'm sensitive to. My mom would never acknowledge anything I did to love her (or to get her approval, which is how she tried to control me). Sorry to make it about me. I do want to help you. I just also wanted to let you know that I would like that if you could do it.

Filled out my extended preferences. If I get everything I asked for, I will have 4 rotations in Florida.

Sometimes I think you approach our relationship like we're business partners. I understand you want to hold your employees to high standards. But for me I would like to actually feel appreciated sometimes and not like I'm always screwing up and not living up to your standards. It's a really rare occasion where you tell me you're grateful for me. This combined with the criticism and then telling me I'm insecure is really upsetting. I think anyone would feel insecure in a relationship where they are constantly criticized and never told they are appreciated.

I have the type of personality and upbringing where I can very easily fall into the role of constantly striving to be better for affection because I don't believe I deserve it already. And when I don't receive it, it's because I'm not good enough. But if I keep trying, one day maybe I can have it. I'm what's known Ada low functioning perfectionist. I used to be a high functioning one but I got worse

I picked up some stuff for us for dinner if you would like it!

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On my way!

Could we put air in my tires when I get there?

Thanks babe!!

I'm here!!

Got my favorite spot!!

I'm a little uneasy about us shopping for things for the place. We haven't talked about the cost/how we're paying for it. To be completely honest with you, I assumed that you were offering to pay for it. But making that assumption also makes me uneasy. To be honest, it would be nice to spruce up the place and make it more special, but I don't have a lot of money to spend on that. And I know you said you are broke right now too. I think we should talk about it so hopefully it's less uncomfortable

I think what makes it most uncomfortable is not talking about it. Maybe it wasn't something that crossed your mind, but it's been freaking me out since we talked about it

Okay. The idea of us shopping with your money for us is still uncomfortable for me as I would not feel comfortable "asking you" for something, because it's a really powerless position that makes me feel queasy. It requires a ton of trust from me. That trust does not come easy as I have personally been in/seen that situation play out in really bad ways many times. Even though I would like to be a part of creating the new space, it would probably make me feel a lot better if you went and got things you liked for us on your own, or maybe just asked my advice. We can talk more later though.

I'm freaking out again

This is a big deal

Like it's a big step

No, I'm just nervous

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Did you bring your plant??

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I love you!!

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It makes me really happy that you remembered your plant

Tomorrow morning I will move Molly into our room!

If that space is ready for her!

Do you have food?

Oh ! I get off at 9pm

I'm trying to get out a little early, but not sure I can since I'm the only person here besides the pharmacist

I'm here and the door is locked!!

I'm in!

Jenny let me in!

Interview went really bad

Honestly I think my interviews would go so much better with brown people

I hate that I have to interview with white people specifically white men.

It's okay. I should have put more effort into it, but I don't think I'm going to get to go to this international rotation

They brought up my disability and it freaked me out. I didn't think they would do that

He said "It's not a breech of confidentiality because it's about safety"

It is

I really felt shocked. I didn't disclose that information to them, so I don't know how they got it

Can I call really quick?

Are there leftovers at home or did you take them to work?

Okay! I'm bringing more food anyway for dinner!

I sent the email